Sixteen years after being diagnosed and successfully treated for breast cancer, my sister is again facing the CBitch. Being an equal opportunity bitch of a disease, the cancer has appeared in the other breast. I know it's ridiculous to say that this is unfair, so I won't. It is, however, bullshit.
My sister's surgery is today, Monday, and she is having the "Full Monty." Off with both so as not to worry year-after-year about having to deal with a possible "round three." My sister is rightfully angry. Angry that the CBitch is back, angry that despite going through painful annual mammograms the technology of today was just as undiscerning of the invasion in her breast this time as it was 16 years ago, and angry about, well, o.k., I'm going to say it after all, the unfairness -- my word choice, not hers.
At church this evening, during the Lord's prayer, I got stuck on the part about "...thy will be done..." I am sincere when I say I am o.k. with His will being done to me, regardless of the challenges, but not so much when His will includes challenges for those that I love.
My sister is angry, so I get to be pissed. I am pissed that she has to be angry and pissed that she is going through the uncertainty, anxiety, and pain that the CBitch has created.
I want to say that the angry (and pissed) goes away, but it doesn't really -- it only recedes enough so that it doesn't rule your every thought.
My sister is angry, but my pint-size sister is also tough. She, with her mighty heart, loving family and caring friends, will get through this, again.
It is so unfair; it is heartbreaking!
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts are with you, your younger sister and your entire family during this initial shock period of "This is wrong, Why me? and this is so unfair". Having sat on the other side, as a spouse, and having asked myself the questions "Why you and not me?" and "This is so unfair". Sadly, like your sibling, and her family, I have asked those questions twice now in my life.
ReplyDeleteI never got a verbal response.
I did however, watch a loved one fight, with her family at her side, through surgeries, chemo, and to this day (just today in fact) receive Herceptin, and remain strong mentally, physically and spiritually.
There will be challenges to be faced but if she is anything like her older sister, and I suspect she is, her strength and courage will persevere and she will be the victor instead of the victim.
Please let her know that people she does not know are her allies in her fight.
This is not a problem - it is a challenge to be met and defeated once again!
Take care of you!