10 Years...

Today is a reminder to me of life and time, what gifts they are and how swiftly both pass. 

Praying I am living honorably and that God is happy with me. I know I am blessed beyond measure. To paraphrase 1 Corinthians 10:13,  No trial has come to me ... that I have been unable to bear ... for God loves me and always provides all I need to withstand the trial.

All praise and glory to you, Lord Jesus Christ!

3,650 Days - 10 Years - A Decade

It's a bit surreal to me that today marks 10 years since RJ's death. Time stretched without me realizing it had done so - now it snaps back in place with a sharp "thwack." Regardless of the "anniversary" number, his absence remains poignant for me. Yet, from that loss -- from the fruit of our love and from the ashes of my grief -- God has nurtured me and provided a way forward. I didn't always see His path and I probably blew right past any number of His generous graces, but as I reflect upon these last many years, the evidence of His hand upon me is brilliantly clear. Praise God, His faithfulness continues. I thank God for the gift of love that came into my life more than 30 years ago. On the heels of this notable date, I also humbly thank our Lord for the great blessing of a new love in my life that has appeared as unbidden and unexpectedly as the first. With a grateful heart, I give glory to God always.

Psalm 23

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want..."

Love is a Never Ending Story

Renewed my driver’s license yesterday at the Hayden Run/Bethel Road BMV.

Walking in, I knew whose sweet face my eyes would behold: Lindsay Alyce Jones'.

Hard to believe she would have turned 34-years-old today.

Lindsay was a joyful gift in life and life-saving hero in death.

Love and miss you, kiddo.

If you aren’t a registered organ donor, I encourage you to become one today: bit.ly/DonateLife8 

A Day of Note

Six years ago today I became a breast cancer survivor. It even was about this time of day (1 o'clock) when Dr. Larry Joe Lilly plunged a needle into the lump in my breast to extract cells for testing. Maybe 30 minutes later he came back and said the cells were positive for cancer. Yeah, my world screeched to a halt in that moment. In the next, it was game on. Thanks be to God, every day now is "game on" in praise of the opportunity to continue in this world He created.

Today, I met with someone whose wife is battling back the CBitch. She's receiving treatment at the Stefanie Spielman Center, too. At great length, he spoke of how wonderful the people are at the Spielman, the care, the support, the encouragement. It is a blessed place for anyone dealing with the unexpected curve of cancer.

Anyway, just tossing up a little e-confetti today ... for life.

Bare Naked Truth

Nothing can prepare a woman for the physical (and emotional) wounds sustained after surgical battle with breast cancer. No matter how many pre-op photos are reviewed, pages of literature read, or first-person stories heard, it's simply impossible to be ready for what's about to come.

And, when leaving the hospital with a dopey brain and mummy-wrapped chest, it is still possible to delude yourself a little while longer into believing that it's "probably not that bad."  But then the time comes -- the Big Reveal. The gauze is slowly unwrapped and as the last strand falls aside all you can do is stare. Your mind is empty and numb as you slowly begin to comprehend that the bloody mess reflecting back is your chest. No cut, scrape, break or bruise you ever sustained in life changed you like this one. Part of your identity as a woman has been ripped away. You are horror stricken at the viciousness of both the physical and emotional attack on your body. You weep. If you are lucky, someone is standing there with you who lovingly whispers, "It's going to be o.k."

First Not

Unfinished sentences splashed all across this blog post last night as I tried to express my thoughts on this first Christmas without my mom and my brother, John.

I vacillated between joy and the depths of despair.
I found comfort in the gift of a friend.
I had a melt down as family parted ways...
Then a text from my sister came and clarified everything. And it was simply this:
"We made it through today."
Yes, indeed, we made through today.

Praise be to God for the gift of His Son.

Litany of Love

My biggest fan. My greatest advocate. My best friend.
You, Mom.

You anchored me, especially these last several years.
I now feel adrift.

We told each other things no one else ever heard.
Big things and little things - the whatever-things that filled our hearts and heads. Things that brought neither judgement nor reproach, though frequently laughter and tears.

Together, we consoled one another in a way that allowed us to "carry on" as we faced the most sorrowful and challenging moments our lives.

You, who gave me life
You, who first showed me the love of our Lord
You, who taught me to be strong, compassionate, fearless, and the importance of stick-to-it-iveness

My heart aches. It is pierced. Again. Again. Again. Again.
But I hear you and I will heed what you are telling me: "Carry on."

With the strong echoes of your love reverberating all around me, I step forward.

Dazzled by Michelangelo's David and Everything Else in Florence

Of course, that is any understatement. It is hard to comprehend how Michelangelo created such an amazing statue. It is a masterpiece beyond beautiful, beyond description, really. Check out Accademia Gallery: http://www.accademia.org/explore-museum/artworks/michelangelos-david/

Similarly, it was a mind-blowing moment when we turned the corner and beheld the massive and breathtaking Duomo of Firenze (Florence), or more correctly Santa Maria del Fiore, the cathedral of Florence. My photos are almost useless for conveying the scale and "awesomeness" of this structure. I'd include a photo, but it simply would not do it justice.

Also saw Donatello's wooden sculpture of Mary Magdalene. The sorrow of Jesus' death and perhaps the magnitude of understanding his love of her and forgiveness of her sins, all seem to be captured in her face and posture. 

No Planes, but Definitely Trains!

Yesterday wrapped up with wine at the hotel's little patio/garden then off to dinner at La Botte. I started with an app of mortadella and some fresh greens. My main course was grilled scampi - all delicious and beautifully plated. For dessert, I split Tiramisu with dinner mates Liz and Gerry, chasing my share with a decadent cappuccino. However, even that was not enough as afterward we went just around the corner for the requisite gelato - I had two scoops: pistachio and cream! 🐷 Oy, I was so stuffed I skipped this morning's breakfast!

As I type this, we are buzzing through the Italian countryside on the high speed train to Florence. So excited to see what today's adventure brings!

Friends, Romans and Countrymen

June 13

Today's sights included the Palantine Steps, the Forum and Colosseum.

We saw where Caesar gave the thumbs up or down and where he was cremated after assassination. The remains of the Temple of the Vestal Virgins included three towering columns. Next to that was the house of the Vestal Virgins. Beneath our feet were large and small cobblestones in place for more than 2,000 years old - can't imagine how many feet have stepped on them. Very humbling.

When in Rome...

Arrived in Rome yesterday (6/12).

Amazing and hard to believe! I am posting only a couple photos right now and will add more later. The pix are 1) at Trevi Fountain with. Fr. Bob and Fr. Stephen, and 2) My first authentic Italian gelato!

Amiss, Remiss, Dismiss

Today is the 6th tormentiversary of Ron's death. Hard to believe he's been gone that long from me, from family, from all who loved him. I am not sure of the weather that day, I think it was overcast with clouds leaking intermittent precipitation. What I am sure of is how hard I tried to redefine time so that I could hold on to him just a little longer. I wanted seconds to become like hours so that hours could become days.

Over the five days he spent in the hospital, when the hope of recovery was still alive, I sang to him (I like to think with him). RJ loved Bob Marley, especially "Is This Love." I'd pull up that song on my iPod, place an ear bud in each of our ears, and sing. The lyrics include the lines, "We'll be together with a roof right over our heads; We'll share the shelter of my single bed."  Those lyrics made me smile then and now. When Ron and I first met -- first fell in love -- we lived in my Grandview apartment and shared my single bed, literally a twin-sized bed, which was not a a lot of space when one of two people was 6' 3" in height! Before this calamity enveloped us, I used to tell him that he was my sunshine, my ray of light that made everything better when all else sucked. When we had to let go of hope, I sang to him in the operating room while they removed his life support and as his heart slowly stopped beating. The last song I quietly sang was "You are My Sunshine."

S.O.B.

My poison today was living as if nothing was amiss. Why? Because I was remiss -- I did not stop my day to note the hour six years ago when RJ slipped away from me. But, I am trying to grant myself grace and dismiss the guilt that assails me.

How I miss... him.

Clark E. Biddle

I don't know that I have the words to describe Clark Biddle. I can tell you that we've lost a bright light, a gentle soul, a funny man, a world-observer, a sage, a loving man, and a dear neighbor -- Sedona's buddy. My heart is heavy knowing he is no longer on this earth, but how blessed I am to have had Clark in my life.

http://bit.ly/1FYiTq0

WWII veteran gives his life to save wife

By Joe BlundoThe Columbus Dispatch  •  Thursday March 5, 2015 7:25 AM

Betty Biddle walked through her house yesterday holding a picture of her husband, Clark. 

Now and then, she kissed it. 

“I don’t know if I’m going to make it without him,” she said. 

No one who knew 88-year-old Clark Biddle well would be surprised to know that his final act, last Thursday, was to push his wife of 68 years out of the way of a car. 

She was bruised. He died. 

“Sometimes I wish I went with him,” said Mrs. Biddle, also 88, sitting in the living room of her house in Norwich Township. 

“I really do.” 

The couple’s son, Gary, said Mr. Biddle had been Mrs. Biddle’s primary caregiver since she fell and broke a hip two years ago. He undoubtedly acted out of instinct when he pushed her to safety before the car, backing out of a shopping center parking space, could hit her. 

“It would just be natural for him,” said Gary Biddle, who lives in Hong Kong. 

The Biddles’ relationship reflects a classic American story: sweethearts at West High School, Class of 1944, who put marriage on hold so he could serve in the Army during World War II. 

After the war, he obtained a degree from Ohio State University and opened Biddle’s Drive-In Restaurant, a business on W. Broad Street that he ran for 25 years. 

They had two children: Gary and his sister, Sally Cress, of Upper Arlington. 

In the 1970s, the family moved from Lincoln Village to the larger place near Hilliard. He loved riding his mower and sharing the bounty of his vegetable garden. 

“Just a very loving man in general, to his wife and to his kids and to the neighbors,” said Laura Jones, who has lived next door to the Biddles since 1999. 

After Jones’ husband died six years ago, Mr. Biddle let her dog out every day when she was at work, she said. He always left two cookies and a short note for her. 

Mr. Biddle had many interests: He played saxophone and clarinet in dance bands, enjoyed fishing and was an active member of the Aladdin Shrine. 

“He was also a pilot,” his son said. “We had a small plane when I was a boy. He thrilled my Cub Scout mates with rides once.” 

Going to the grocery store with Mr. Biddle, son-in-law Dan Cress said, was never a short trip. 

“Everybody in the place would know this guy. It was just amazing how he connected with people.” 

He loved to talk about his deep Columbus roots. Mr. Biddle was a descendant of Thomas Biddle, who arrived in Columbus in 1830 from Wales, established a farm on what now is the north end of Downtown and opened a lumber mill that supplied wood for the construction of the Ohio Statehouse. 

The Biddles maintained a monthly ritual of getting together for lunch with old classmates from West High. 

That’s where they were headed about 1:30 p.m. last Thursday when the accident happened. 

Mr. Biddle had helped his wife, who uses a walker, from their car and was holding her by an arm as they crossed the parking lot of O’Charley’s restaurant in the Georgesville Square Shopping Center, she said. 

When he saw the backing car, he pushed her out of the way but couldn’t avoid being struck himself. He fell and hit his head, suffering massive brain trauma. 

“I will never get over turning around and seeing him on the ground,” Mrs. Biddle said. 

He died on Saturday at Mount Carmel West Hospital.

Columbus police Sgt. Brooke Wilson, of the accident-investigation unit, said the driver initially was cited with a misdemeanor, but that has been dropped until there is more investigation of what happened.

As they prepare for a service on Sunday to celebrate the life of Mr. Biddle, his family and friends are still trying to process the loss. 

The phone at Mrs. Biddle’s house rang frequently yesterday as people called with condolences. 

Button, a small, white dog belonging to the Biddles’ daughter, wandered around confused. Mr. Biddle frequently watched Button. 

“She misses her grandpa,” Mrs. Biddle said. 

Out in the garage sat trays of tomato seedlings. Mr. Biddle was growing them for himself, his neighbors and anyone else who might like a few.

And That's How Life Works

Ok, I know I said "good bye," but things change -- now I'm saying "hello again." Why? Well, while I have successfully kicked the CBitch from my body, I realized this morning that the positive beyond-the-body after affects render this blog still relevant -- at least for awhile longer. A variety of factors brought me to this conclusion, two in particular: Feb. 23 marked my third year as a survivor -- HOORAY! Another was a recent invitation to share my experience at an annual cancer survivor picnic in June. I said "yes," which left me feeling humbled, a little frightened, and excited. I have to get these remarks -- my story -- right, and I believe that only can be achieved with the help of Bosomundheit.

To quote the first line of lyrics from a favorite Sound of Music song, "Let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start..."

Ta-ta(s) Bosomundheit

It is time to bid Bosomundheit farewell -- our mission to kick the CBitch's ass being well accomplished. I have considered this idea before and rejected it out of a state of emotional unreadiness. Today the timing seems to be right, the stars aligning for moving beyond what this blog was intended to achieve.

There is, however, a restlessness astir within me to keep on writing through another blog, although it's hard to say when that endeavor would get underway. Bosomunheit, though static, will remain live for now, serving as a notification board of when my new writing venture begins.

I am grateful to all of you who have not only followed me on this journey via my blog, but have supported me through prayer, friendship, laughter, and love. To all of you from Bosomundheit:

Through Our Eyes

I am at the Spielman Center today for another six-month check up with my oncologist, Dr. Lustberg. The parking lot is at capacity this afternoon, which is bad and good. It means too many women are going through treatment, but it also means they are receiving treatment at a state-of-the-art facility from a dedicated staff and world-class doctors. I am humbled to have had that advantage.

On these check-up days, I always arrive wearing my coat of invincibility, the one that helps me believe that I am cured of cancer. It is a cloak I wish to wrap around every woman I see in the waiting area so that they too can again experience a life free of the CBitch. I am not naive. I know not all battles are won, some warriors are lost. For me, that's where the gift of faith, my belief in Christ's promise, makes all the difference. Note I said makes a difference, and is the difference, which isn't the same as saying the trial is any less.

My visit with the doc is more than 30 minutes behind schedule. Not complaining because I know she gives every woman she cares for 100 percent and more.

Pics o' the Day

Veteran's Day sunset.

Froggie Friday!

Lost in Thought

A relentless reflective mood has stalked me the last few days. I'll be in the middle of a project and, WHAM, my thoughts go skittering forward then backward and finally in circles. I'm guessing that what has me stirred up is the new job, six month check-ups, approaching holidays, my mom, my dad.

That's really all I have to say. Pretty sketchy for my first post in more than 30 days. Nevertheless, the thought-bug was buzzing round in my head and it had to be let out somewhere. I'll do my best to come up with something more substantial for my next post.

"I shall not die but live and declare the deeds of the Lord." -- Ps 117:17

Leave-me-nots

Authentic cranberry bog growing at the
Governor's Residence & Heritage Garden.

Pics o' the Day

Xtreme-ly Xcellent

I'm stating the obvious by saying that no matter how old we are there are still many "firsts" to be experienced -- big and small. A recent "first" for me was watching the odometer on my faithful Xterra turn more than 100,000 miles. I've never owned a vehicle -- new or used -- that achieved so many miles, let alone being the sole individual responsible for putting on those miles.

When I divide the that number by the age of the Xterra by how many years I've owned it, it comes out to approximately 16,600 miles annually. Pretty average all-in-all.

There is more to this, of course, than the "turning over" of the odometer. I bought the Xterra one month after losing Ron, so this mileage observation has me looking back at where that truck has taken me, physically and emotionally.

Fort Myers Beach -- three times (one of which included pulling a camper to-and-fro)
Multiple Ohio State Park camp outs
Countless nighttime ramblings with Sedona, up, down, and around central Ohio roads in the wee hours, driving out grief, working through the challenges of the CBitch, and figuring out how to navigate other general life challenges
Through breast cancer diagnosis and 30 days of radiation

To my most favorite, special spot in Ross County -- Holcomb's hill

Golden Memories On A Silver Anniversary

RJ's childhood friend, Keith Mills and his wife Linda
with us on our big day, Sep. 30, 1989

Twenty-five years ago today, I stood at the altar of Holy Name Church and married the most handsome, gentle-hearted, and loving man. It was to me a storybook day: the skies were clear, the temperatures cool, we were surrounded by people we loved, and our life-adventure together was underway. We were blessed to have a perfectly imperfect marriage. And, in the face of some notable challenges and deep sorrows our love never flagged, it only grew stronger.

Yes, I so very much miss my RJ and wish he was here beside me today. The fact that he is not cuts my heart deeper than I will ever be able to acknowledge. Still, God gave us 20 love-filled years together and I can't argue that gift.

My dad and mom with us on another
big day: renewal of our wedding vows,
on Culebra Is., March 19, 2009

Today Is About Joy

A few posts-ago, I hinted that change was afoot for me; it has now come to pass. On September 29, I started as Chief of Staff for the Buckeye State's First Lady. It was an unexpected offer, a once-in-a-career opportunity, and one in which the only answer was "yes!" I am blessed that both my professional and personal life experiences have prepared me to take on this new and exciting role. I will for sure miss my colleagues and friends at JO, but fortunately, we will continue to work in close proximity to each other.

Life is an ever-twisting path, upon it we find days of joy and days of sorrow. I am thankful to have the good Lord holding my hand along the way!:)

"I saw the Lord ever before me, with him at my right hand I shall not be disturbed." -- Acts 2:25

Pic o' the Day

My first First Lady event; celebrating the graduates of
CATCH (Changing Actions To Change Habits) Court.
Click on the link above to learn how this amazing
program is helping to support victims of human trafficking.