Hi, I'm _____, and you are?

Experienced today what it must feel like to be both *invisible and unrecognizable -- curiously, neither response was "offendable," (I know, not a word, but I wanted the "ble!"). I've known, of course, that the outward change in my appearance - as in nearly no hair and sporting hats - would evoke some sort of a reaction in the folks I encounter. What I didn't know was how I'd react to those reactions.

On a smiley note: Rover loves her grandpa!

I think I now know at least two of my reactions:
1) with empathy, and
2) gently challenging

I never want to be preachy, or pushy, or sanctimonious about anything. But helping people get comfortable with those of this world who are being treated for the CBitch is important. On the flip side, experiencing their reactions is a humbling and constructive life-lesson for me.

Heavens, I'm tired.


-----------
*From the LJ Dictionary of definitions:
Invisible = "That person over there is obviously going through some health problem. I don't know how to respond, so I'll just avoid making eye contact."

The Nature of Postings and the Human Factor

My later-than-usual postings have been noticed. Instead of occurring in the mornings or late afternoons they've been published toward the end of the day. My excuse: a temporary shift in routine from living on my own to being blessed with the company of my parents. I get home from work, chill out a wee then settle in with Mickey & Bill. A nice change of pace.

That isn't all of it, of course. My sleep patterns are off, making me a slow girl in the mornings. I suppose my routines will continue to shift as I move through these next six treatments/12 weeks.

On another note, I'm bummed. I wrote a post on May 31 and through a slip of a button, didn't post it :(

From my dad's 80th birthday party last July.
We kids flew down as a surprise.
And, yes, it surprised him!

Mickey, sis-in-law Kathy, bros Kirk &
John, me, sis Mary Ann, Bill

The post included pics of my parents and sibs. So, to make up for my oversight: meet the fam!

That Thing Called Life

So much joy and goodness exists in our world -- a truth I've always held fast to in all seasons of my life. Every day there is reason for praise of God's beautiful creation. That firm belief does not mean a lack of recognition for the sorrow and darkness that also is part of the human condition.

A couple I went to high school with just lost their 21-year-old son as a result of a tragic accident. A young man so loved by family and friends, handsome, strong, one who was on a good path. It makes no sense today and it will make no more sense tomorrow or ever that they lost their boy.

I don't know. It's a thing to rage against and then lean into, to rise above and be laid low by -- It is life.

Kind of a tough one today. Chemo finally showing its colors, so to speak. Long day, but I didn't let the beast beat me. Took care of myself, did some work, rested. Ring the bell and let's start new tomorrow.

Grandma and Sedona chilling out together. Makes me smile:)

The Day is Getting Long ...

... and my eyes are drooping. Felt pretty good for the Monday after treatment, but tired. Was happy to get in a few hours of work at the office and a little more at home.

I can say that once I got moving this morning that getting ready for work was lickety-split with no hair to fuss over! The new look is being well received. Wore in a black fedora to the office, but took it off soon after. Thinking that once the hair begins to regrow that I'll give serious consideration to maintaining a close crop (perhaps not this close, but pert near!)

Not much in the creative way tonight. Going to toddle off to bed.

My sister, Mary Ann, and me at my nephew's graduation dinner on Sunday.

My Way, My Time

After yesterday's chemo and Saturday morning's shower, it became evident that things were changing with my hair. So, rather than let what was happening drive me, I drove it -- right off my head! My mom and niece, DiAnna, joined me in this adventure, providing great support (see yesterday's post). I asked DiAnna to document the event with my iPhone and she did a damn good job! Of course, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention my totally excellent and wonderful hair stylist, Jasmine. This woman knows me well, my hair, and she's an outstanding individual.

Also, props to the final star of this "short" 4min-24sec video, my nephew Andrew, who appears with me at the end. The consensus at home was I now have a closer resemblance to the men of the family than the ladies! Since they're all handsome fellers, well, I have no objection!

O.k., not much more to add. I'll let the video tell the tale, but with two caveats: 1) the close-crop I now sport is temporary as the drugs will have their way, and 2) this is my first video upload and I don't think I got the best quality -- I'll keep trying.

With all that I hope the video moves along at a quick enough pace and with such a riveting musical score that you'll stay for the entire show :) Enjoy!

It's time ...

At the salon to have the mop removed. With me for support are my mom, Mickey, and my beautiful niece, DiAnna. Will follow with end results.

Laura, DiAnna, and Mickey at Kenneth's Hair Salons

Feeling a Little Ookie this A.M.

Woke up at 2:30 having to get rid of yet another tank of water, but also because of some queasiness. I'll blame the tummy troubles on my middle brother, John :) After my mom and I returned home from treatment, John had a lovely pork roast simmering on the cook top. It smelled heavenly and was equally delicious. Pork being one of my favorites, I scarfed down more of it and the accompanying carrots and potatoes than I should have -- it was well worth it.

RJ with our golden girl

Another notable point of that meal and the previous evening's offering (chicken and noodles cooked by my mom), is that they marked the first time in three-plus years I've walked into the house with a sumptuous cooked meal waiting for me. That was RJ's forte, something he loved doing for me, for us. Brings a sigh, but also a smile for the conjured memories.


Going to take it real easy today. I'm hoping that by tomorrow I'll feel good enough to join the family for dinner at the Buckeye Lake Yacht Club in celebration of my nephew Andrew's high school graduation.

Another Gift(s)

Met with my oncologist, Dr. Lustberg, this morning and together we made a decision to alter Phase II of chemo. The previous timetable for Phase II (Taxol) was every Friday for 12 weeks. Well, I was getting concerned about the number of IV sticks that was going to mean for my veins, and I mentioned this to my doc. Without going into the details of the "why" it's o.k. to switch up, I'll now receive:

Four treatments of Taxol every other week. This does mean the dosage will be higher, but Dr. Lustberg thinks I'll handle that just fine.

Making this change means I should be done with everything, including radiation, by mid to late September instead of mid November -- now tell me that's not a GIANT gift!

My other gift today,
my mom, Mickey.

My "office" view for today!

Hi Ho, Hi Ho

... off to chemo I go! And still with a head of hair. No complaints, no expectations of continued coverage, though smiling that I beat one of their predictions (hair loss in 2 weeks). Hhmm, wait, I don't want to beat too many of those predictions 'cause there are good predictions (aka prognosis).

So, now, I write contrite of heart and humbled. Hair, sheesh, who cares :)

Will let all know how this second poison-to-get-healthy treatment goes!


"God's way is unerring; the Lord's promise is tried and true; he is a shield for all who trust him." Psalms 18:30