In the Moment

A day for letting the dog stick her head out the truck window for two hours straight.
A day for soaking up sweet sunshine.
A day for enjoying some time with family.
A day for worship and praise, and thanksgiving for timely quotes, such as this one:
"Do not fear what may happen tomorrow. The same loving Father who cares for you today will care for you tomorrow and everyday. Either He will shield you from suffering or He will give you unfailing strength to bear it. Be at peace then and put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginings." -- St. Francis DeSales

Pic o' the Day

Baby girl in front of Aunt Mary Ann's black-eyed Susan's

Three-Star Day

Enjoyed a lazy, pampered day today. Slept in, gave some lovin' to my pup, read the newspaper then made some marinara sauce with more tomatoes from Clark's garden. At 2 o'clock I stopped everything and got myself together for a relaxation massage at Kenneth's. What a treat!

Now kicking back in my favorite chair and sipping on a wee glass of port. Decided it'd be the last treat of the day for this pampered chemo princess.

As to how I'm feeling the day after treatment three of the Taxol Treat, well, obviously not too bad. My hands are swollen some and feeling a little tingly. I can also add another Taxol side effect to my list: discolored fingernails and toenails; the nail beds of both also feel bruised. For some women, the issue goes as far as the nails falling off -- hoping that doesn't happen to me.

The irony is that most of these side effects are not directly related to the Taxol, but the solvent used to liquify the cancer-killing drug so it can be injected intravenously. 

Whew, suddenly very sleepy. Think I'll turn in. Heading south tomorrow with brother John to our sister Mary Ann's -- we're going down to pick up my niece and have a quick visit with MA & RJ.

Good night.

Pic o' the Day. Posting this now because my oncologist, Dr. Lustberg, will be away on my last chemo. I'll see her again for a variety of follow ups, but she's a special person and I wanted to share.

Peanuts and Taxol

Here today at Chemo Central, snacking on a peanut granola bar as my Taxol Treat winds its way through my veins. No mega dose (or any) Benadryl with this cocktail, so no drug induced looniness or sleepiness!:) That said, I am tired. Up at 6:30 to leave the house by 7:30 for my first consultation with a radiation oncologist. Figuring I won't be done with the chemo until 4 o'clock:(

My escort today was friend Cynthia. Ride home is with friend Ellen, who also stopped by for a visit before school.

6:21 p.m. addendum: Had a nice surprise when Ellen came back to fetch me home: her sweet daughter Clare, who is in fifth grade this year, came along. And, of course, I wasn't thinking and missed the opportunity for a photo, darn:(  That said, we had a great visit and an enjoyable conversation about the Aztec civilization!

Got home around 4:30 -- very, very long day. Going to take my friend Bill B.'s advise and pamper myself this weekend. How? Hhmm, maybe by not doing any office work!

Pics o' the Day

Cynthia & me

Me & Ellen

View from my other corner office.

Yesterdays

I continue to find myself tripping down memory lane after my Sunday visit to the Rocky River Reservation (a.k.a.: the Valley/the Emerald Necklace). Going to the valley was part of nearly every trip Ron and I made north to see my mother-in-law, which was frequent. We enjoyed that beautiful park in every season. This recent trip was both a balm and pain to my heart.

Pic o' the Day: a collage featuring the park in three of the four seasons. Couldn't seem to locate one for summer, but believe me, we were there!

A Post Before Midnight

Another full day at work then home to wrap up a few things before journeying tomorrow to Findlay for a JobsOhio quarterly board meeting. I have tried to fit so much into my life these last few weeks. Some of it personal, some of it work. At times I struggled emotionally and physically. Getting everything done was not humanly possible. I turned it over to God. Not everything I wanted got accomplished, but everything He wanted was - that humbles me and has me giving glory in his name.
Eph 3:20-21

Pic o' the Day

Out for a short stroll today. Blue skies to get lost in.
This view looking up at my office building.

Pollyanna Definitely Doesn't Live Here

A few qualifying statements by the blog's author: What I write about tonight is not aimed at any one individual. This post is not necessarily rational. It is, however, about me getting to the end of my figurative rope -- of me being tired of not being me ...

And now, tonight's topic: Chemo Brain
Please, don't use those two words around me ever again. I understand the euphemistic implications of that handy phrase. To me, it's just one more way the CBitch tries to pigeon hole me.

Besides, the "symptoms" of this alleged condition started way before the first chemotherapy. To be precise, the erosion of my ability to focus, retain, generate, be productive, (be me), commenced on February 23 - the day I was diagnosed.

I will fight my way through this b.s. without labels. And, while I'm being bitchy, I want to say that long before the CBitch challenged me, I was a survivor.

If Sedona could talk, she might tell me to stop acting like her companion in this Pic o' the Day!

Too Tired for a Title

A quick post before crashing for an afternoon nap. Met Andrea and her walking pal, Tammy, around 8:30 at one of the cheering stations in North Olmsted. Saw them again in the Valley (part of the Emerald Necklace) where Sedona and I revisited a favorite haunt: the Rocky River Reservation. After that, back to the hotel then south to Columbus.
Pic/s o' the Day

Pushing and Finding My Limitations

[See below first set of pix for an update to this post ...]
I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised that Thursday's late work night came with a price. Was productive Friday morning, but by the afternoon both physical coordination and cognitive skills were questionable. Once home, I quickly got comfy and settled in to chill out. That's when payment came due: began to feel feverish and queasy, which worried me. Drank more water, took Ibuprofen and did nothing physically taxing -- even ignored Sedona's occasional indications of wanting outside. Fortunately my temperature never got above 99.8, but it was enough to remind me I have to be more careful.

My greatest concern, besides my health, was that I'd have to cancel coming up to northeast Ohio to see my rock-star friend, Andrea, participate in this weekend's Komen 3-day Walk -- you all know what that's about since I've been promoting it the last several months. I'm happy to report that when I woke this morning my temp was back to normal. Took my time getting moving and things together for the trip; I was on the road by 2 o'clock. Sedona was so excited to be going on a road trip! Got to our pet-friendly hotel around 3:45 and, now just chilling out and waiting to hear from Andrea. It's a hot, humid day and I'm once again in awe of Andrea's commitment to the cancer cause. I can only hope to have the stamina and courage to do this walk next year. Only time will tell ...

I want to thank everyone who supported Andrea in her walk, whether through donation or prayer. It is an awesome wonderful thing to have such love and care for her, for me, for the cure.

Nice digs!

Sedona made herself right at home!

Pics o' the Day

9:30 p.m.
Picked up my walkin' wonder of a friend at the Westlake Recreation Center where a sea of pink tents were set up for the 650 walkers participating in this weekend's walk. We grabbed take out at Red Robin and enjoyed a nice couple of hours visiting back at the hotel. I can tell you this, I'm not only proud of Andrea for taking on such a challenging walk, but impressed at her willpower to turn down spending the night in an air conditioned hotel room! I'm an outdoors woman, but tonight, with the humidity and threat of thunderstorms, I'm real pleased to be sleeping indoors with A/C and my pup! :) Posting a collage of pix from Andrea's experience, plus one of us waiting for our Red Robin to-go order.

Late Night and Proud of It

Hello, blog fans, it's 9:50 p.m. -- do you know where you favorite chemo patient is? Still at work, that's where, with two of her colleagues! Feeling pretty good as we get close to a final draft of our quarterly report for next week's board meeting. And, don't worry, I've been keeping up on my Ibuprofen and water, which is definitely essential to my energy and feel-good levels:)

Pic o' the Night: around the work table at JobsOhio

Author This

A love note about Sedona!

My mind is a blank tonight, so I'm letting someone else do the writing for me. Almost every day my sweet neighbor Clark leaves me a hand written note. Topics include how the heat is impacting his garden, his adventures with skunk-trapping, what his college-age granddaughters are doing in far-flung global locations, and about relatives who were part of the age of Vaudeville.
These daily missives are like little prayers buoying me upward.