Final Phase for Her and Something New for Me

My mom has two more treatments before putting her own wrap on the CBitch. You would be amazed to see how well she's doing. Her greatest nemesis at this time is pronounced fatigue, but even that seems to be more bearable for her as she moves closer to the last treatments. To quote a recent text from my cousin, "she's tuffer'n a leathery ol' reptile!"

As Sep. 23 draws near, I have begun to recall my own treatment finale. A nearly uncontainable elation filled me in those days as I considered how the much-dreaded chemo cocktail would soon cease poisoning my body. Yet layered within that inextricable joy was an irrational fear that I would hear Doc Lustberg say, "We underestimated how much chemotheraphy you needed and we have to keep on this schedule until the end of the year." And that was just one of the crazy thoughts that kept me up at nights!:) In trying to stay zen, I often recited the following from St. Francis DeSales:

"Do not fear what may happen tomorrow. The same loving Father who cares for you today will care for you tomorrow and everyday. Either He will shield you from suffering or He will give you unfailing strength to bear it. Be at peace then and put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginings." 

I mention emotions because while my mom and I have talked about many other things relative to her cancer, we haven't talked about what's buzzing through her brain on that level. We've talked about logistics (getting to and from the Lee Memorial Regional Cancer Center). We've talked about how long we think it will take for her hair to start filling back in (it's thinned, but not all gone).  We've talked about the absurdity of cancer's attack on the women in our family (my sister, me, her -- in that order). In the end, though, not talking about some emotions is just fine. I get it, because strength can sprout by keeping the very personal to one's self.

Oh, and the something new for me I alluded to in the title of this post? I will be back in Ohio full-time as of Sep. 29 with a new assignment. More to come on that subject!:)

Pic o' the Day

Sedona can now add gator-tamer to her list of accomplishments!

Putting A Wrap On My Road Trip Recount: Days 3 - 6

Having fallen behind in the telling of my FL road trip, I almost hesitate to continue as it is now old news. However, for posterity and my writing pleasure, I will see this recount through to the end! :) 

DAY 3: July 15

Breakfast the morning of our decampment. 

Late the next morning (click here to read previous day's recap), the weather started to become sketchy with the wind kicking up and gray clouds scuttling across the sky. As my weather radio barked out storm warnings for much of NC, I made an executive decision: Our safety would be best served out from under the towering trees of MoMo. So, around 2 p.m. that day, we pulled up stakes and out of the state park with a destination of Florence, SC – an easy 3-hour drive along scenic back roads.

Our route took us through Cheraw, SC, home of jazz great Dizzy Gillespie. The homes were something straight out of Southern Living magazine with big white columns, wrap-around verandas, and lawns landscaped with towering oak trees festooned with Spanish moss.

DAY 4: July 16

Poor sick girl, not even a squirrel running
across the bed could have gotten her excited.

We left Florence at 9 o’clock that morning bound for Lake City, FL, about a five or six hour drive. Rained like crazy on us most of the way, but it was an easy drive down I-95 from which we connected with I-10 west, and finally I-75 south. The worst part of that trip was my golden girl not feeling very well. Three times Sedona got sick in the vehicle (politely throwing up in her water dish each time), and twice more after we stopped at our hotel. My worry was that she’d gotten into something poisonous at the campground, but there was no way to tell. She was one uggie-feeling pup, had no spark and no appetite. 

On the road somewhere between Lake City and FMB.

DAY 5: July 17

This started the final leg of our journey to my parent’s home in Fort Myers Beach – about a five-hour drive. The good news for that morning was that even though Sedona remained sluggish, she was no longer throwing up. However, I was still worried and made an appointment for Friday with a veterinarian referred to me by my mom’s friend. 

At 1:30 pm, with the windows rolled down and a John Philip Sousa CD triumphantly blasting, we arrived at my parent’s house. Now, seeing my mom and dad certainly perked up Miss Sedona!

DAY 6: July 18 

At Indian Creek Vet Hospital.
Sedona is so paw-some!

I’ll wrap up this long recall with the visit to the veterinarian, etc. The short of the problem, as near as our new friends at Indian Creek Veterinary Hospital could figure, was that the stress of the trip (being so out of her routine) caused Sedona's body to release histamine, which resulted in the upset stomach and lethargy -- contributing to that condition was a urinary track infection. Fortunately, antibiotics had Miss Sedona right-as-rain in a few days. The heat is not something she particularly enjoys and that’s kept us from walking regularly. Of course, it hasn’t stopped Sedona from her daily bake in the sun!

Two initial take-a-ways from my sojourn: 1) I am blessed to be able to be here with my parents and, 2) I will never be a fulltime Florida resident – too darn hot, the vegetation is sooooo different (I’ll elaborate on that point another time), and it is buggy!

My Little Sun Worshipper

Sedona has become a Florida sun worshiper. She loves going out back of my parents house when the sun is at its zenith to stretch out on scorching hot pavers. I can call and cajole her to come in, but no deal. She just lays there, sometimes for as long as 10 minutes. Then, panting like she's just crossed the Mohave Desert, she trots her heat-baked body into the house, loudly laps up a long cold drink of water and flops down on the floor vent -- where it is blasting cold air. Makes no sense to me. I guess she is a dog of extremes.





 

Comin' Round The Mountain

Day 2 -- the Journey continues - a recount

Provisions purchased and stowed away, Sedona and I headed out of Wytheville, crossing into North Carolina just one hour later. Morrow Mountain State Park, that day's destination, was east of I-77 in Albemarle, not too far off of SR 52. Despite the uneventful drive, butterflies nevertheless jumped into my stomach as I made my way through the state park. I’d never been here before or, for that matter, to any NC state park, so I had no idea of what I was getting myself into. Blessedly, my worries were all for naught. It was a lovely campground with tall pines and oaks that gave good shade. 

Set up was a snap and soon enough Sedona had her nose to the ground exploring the little square of land we’d be calling home for the next two days. Before settling in, we went back up to the park office and bought a couple bundles of firewood. Despite the promise of a warm evening, camping wouldn’t be camping without a campfire. After a simple dinner of grilled cheese and soup for me and a bowl of Purina One for the girl, I started the fire and kicked back; Sedona, totally worn out, lay sprawled on the ground at my feet.  Mesmerized by the flickering flames of the campfire, I took stock of the last two days and smiled. I’d done it. I had safely and successfully trailered the Turtle out of Ohio and through the mountains. Simple as that may seem, it gave me a great sense of accomplishment.

A couple of hours later, tucked snuggly inside the Turtle, we were being lulled to sleep by a chorus of night-singing. I remember very clearly, too, my last conscious thought of the night was: “Life is Good.”

Road Trip!

Now that I've reemerged on Bosomundheit and explained myself, I'm going to backtrack and chronicle the events of my journey from Ohio to FMB. 

Bon Voyage! 

DAY 1 and part of DAY 2: July 13 & 14

The rain fell in buckets as Sedona and I began a five-day road trip that ultimately would end at my parent’s home in Fort Myers Beach. Tagging along close behind the Xterra was my Teardrop camper, aka “the Turtle.” Our first stop was Wytheville, VA, located just off I-77 in the western tail of the Dominion State.

The next morning brought sunshine and blue skies. We left the hotel (a Best Western that, sadly, I cannot recommend!) with the intent of picking up provisions for Days 2 & 3 of our sojourn: Morrow Mountain State Park in Albemarle, NC – just three hours away. However, I took a wrong turn and was soon headed down a ribbon of country road in the opposite direction of the grocery store. Looking for a place to turn around, I came upon a tiny, white wood-framed church and, wow, it had a pull through driveway --  just what God ordered for this girl-errant and her camper! The storybook house of worship was perched on the edge of a picturesque hayfield that rushed up to the foot of the Blue Ridge Mountains. More charming still was a delightful congregant named Don who was working industriously in the yard out back.

Don invited me in to see the sanctuary and then left me alone to, well, be alone. The unexpected detour was a soul-replenishing, peace-filled pause for me. There are only 28 members of this humble little house of worship (Bethel United Methodist Church, founded in 1856.) Before I left that holy ground, Don invited me to come back some day for worship and Sunday school. I’m thinking that’s an invitation I can’t pass up!

South of the Ohio River

Sedona and I have been in Fort Myers Beach with my parents since July 18, and what a blessing it is to be here. With two more sets of three infusions, my mom is half way through her second round of chemo -- that's just eight weeks until she closes the books on what her oncologist calls her "double-barreled" treatment for uterine cancer.

While I'm here to offer whatever support I can during my mom's battle with the CBitch, I can't help but feel that the one receiving the most out of this extended stay is me. It is a gift to be part of my parent's daily routine, to experience with them the ordinary, the unexpected, the sweet, the melancholy. Being with them is also a kind of glorious mind/time bender. I frequently find myself  subsumed by rich family memories then pole vaulting into thoughts of the "way" future -- as in what am I learning here that can impact where I'll be in 20-30 years. The tick of the clock keeps me firmly rooted in the now, however, and I thank God for every second spent in the presence of my beautiful parents.

Pics o' the Day

The quintessential golden retriever!
Had our first morning beach walk today.

A glorious sunset.

What the?...

So, am I ready to be a steady blogger again? Get back to a regular diet of e-flection? Rededicate myself to offering up the mundane or unexpected paths my life takes? I don't know, but at least for tonight I am writing.

My friend, the CBitch, bestowed another of her gifts on me this past Sunday, one that took advantage of my compromised lymphatic system. Something caused an infection in my right arm, which resulted in a high fever then me being admitted to the hospital. No big deal, very treatable. As the ER doc said, "The good news is it isn't MERSA and it's not flesh-eating bacteria." Yay for me! After several bags of antibiotics I was in, out and home all in a 24-hour period. 

It really wasn't a big deal (albeit I got all of two hours of sleep). What truly pisses me off is the CBitch's second attempt on my sister. Then, not content with that failed attack, She went after my mom. What the hell?! Well, all I can say is that She's picked on the wrong chicks. The Schneider women do not know the word defeat. The CBitch can take her bag of b.s. and stick it.

As I sign off, I will leave with this little bit: Life doesn't last that long. I am going to begin yet another phase of my life. Transitioning into something that I've wanted to do for quite awhile -- something that I know Ron would appreciate. What? Well, that illumination will come once things are finally in the works. When is that? By my calculations, the week of July 1. 

Stay tuned. 

Pic o' the Post

Answered Prayers

She is home. Did "outstanding" according to her surgeon. Stopped for a chocolate malt on the way back to Oxford -- how awesome is that?! My sister. She is home.

With my brother and little big sister.
May 2013

She's Angry. I'm Pissed

Sixteen years after being diagnosed and successfully treated for breast cancer, my sister is again facing the CBitch. Being an equal opportunity bitch of a disease, the cancer has appeared in the other breast. I know it's ridiculous to say that this is unfair, so I won't. It is, however, bullshit.

My sister's surgery is today, Monday, and she is having the "Full Monty." Off with both so as not to worry year-after-year about having to deal with a possible "round three." My sister is rightfully angry. Angry that the CBitch is back, angry that despite going through painful annual mammograms the technology of today was just as undiscerning of the invasion in her breast this time as it was 16 years ago, and angry about, well, o.k., I'm going to say it after all, the unfairness -- my word choice, not hers.

At church this evening, during the Lord's prayer, I got stuck on the part about "...thy will be done..." I am sincere when I say I am o.k. with His will being done to me, regardless of the challenges, but not so much when His will includes challenges for those that I love.

My sister is angry, so I get to be pissed. I am pissed that she has to be angry and pissed that she is going through the uncertainty, anxiety, and pain that the CBitch has created.

I want to say that the angry (and pissed) goes away, but it doesn't really -- it only recedes enough so that it doesn't rule your every thought.

My sister is angry, but my pint-size sister is also tough. She, with her mighty heart, loving family and caring friends, will get through this, again.

Baby Girl's Big Birthday

She's now in the double digits. Today is Sedona's 10th birthday. We had a good time celebrating with a photo shoot then some yogurt and special dog treats followed by some lovin'. She is an extraordinary companion. Yes, I know that's what all pet owners say about their four-legged pals, but in this case it's of course true.

My intent was to do a photo homage to her royal goldenness, but it's getting late and I must settle with sharing this much simpler approach -- I don't think she'll mind.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY SWEET SEDONA!

Collage o' the Day

Top right pic is of 10-week old Sedona sitting snugly in the "safety zone."
Bottom right pic is Sedona (background) with her sib Abby, circa 2005
Main photo was taken tonight with Sedona already for the frightful weather!