Ruminations

Not my "stuff," but was in my garage.
It's now all gone!:)

Some interesting life lessons relearned over the Memorial Day weekend. Most notably: positive re-enforcement about the healthiness of letting go – physically and emotionally – of the nonessentials of life.

No great revelation, just a great reminder.

Puts me in mind of two of my favorite entertainers:

1. George Carlin for his routine on “Have you ever noticed that their stuff is shit and your shit is stuff?”

2. Neil Young for his song Silver and Gold – he really nails it about "treasure chests."

O.k., that’s all. 

Today, Tomorrow?

One of the things the doc & nurses made clear on my first day of chemo was that I should expect hair loss within the first one to two weeks. Well, I'm entering the zone. Can't say I'm anxious or upset, it's just a kind of ticking clock.

I can tell you that as of this morning, shampoo and conditioner continue to reside within my shower ...

Admissions

1) I love alliterations.    
\ə-ˌli-tə-ˈrā-shən\

2) I edit my posts, probably violating a variety of vacuous blogging codes of conduct.

3) A longed for left-brained profession I deduced too late: Librarian!

Wouldn't shushing someone at the LC be too cool?!

Peace

Peace to all on this Pentecost Sunday!

Saw sweet Sr. Pat today at mass, which further filled and and uplifted an already rejoicing spirit. Little did Ron and I know back in 1999 how integral Sr. Pat and St. Brendan Church would become in our lives -- in my life.



I read some scripture from Romans this morning that's not associated with Pentecost Sunday, but it really spoke to my heart and so I share.

Romans 12:12-21 "Rejoice in hope, endure in affliction, persevere in prayer ..."  (there's more, so look it up and read on:-)

There's a Hole in the Blog, Dear Liza Laura

It has occurred to me that key information is missing from my blog. How do I know this? My surreptitious powers of perception ;) pieced this puzzler together based on subtle reactions to news of my treatment, such as "Wow, you're kidding me, that's a lot of chemo!" (insert image of furrowed brow).

Presumed equation

number of chemo treatments + compressed treatment schedule = shit, she's got the CBitch bad!

Cancer, like shag carpet, is not something we choose and, again like shag carpet, it comes in varying shades and textures of intensity. Breast cancer is one of the most treatable and curable cancers and my version of the CBitch falls under both categories.

Corrected equation

LJ's breast cancer + advances in breast cancer treatment + LJ's age (no joke!) = excellent prognosis!

Come to think of it, cancer and shag carpet share several commonalities, but I think that's a post for another day!

To fix that hole: I am creating another page on this blog that will tell my cancer story from the start, thus providing a more complete picture about my diagnosis and treatment plan. The format will be akin to old newspaper serials except you won't be seeing a daily installment. Kind of a blog within a blog, and a realllllllly long, ever-changing post. Stupid idea? I don't care, it's my blog.

Stay tuned for the twists and turns and riveting adventures of: 

Laura, the Cancer Fighting Explorer

(yeah, the title needs some work!)

On Second Thought ...

... and in the nick of time ...
I didn't think I was going to post today because, frankly, it was just a normal, run-of-the-mill Friday before Memorial Day. Then amid the myriad of musings that accompanied Sedona and me on our walk around the park, the mental clouds seemed to part and a revelation came to me:

I don't have *19 treatments left, I have 15! 

Yes, 19 weeks, but fif-teen treatments!! 

I feel like I got a bit of a gift with that little recalculation!

Give it up for the right-brained girl!

*See May 19 post

Beauty

Beauty in waking.
Beauty in breathing.
Beauty in going to work.

Beauty in coming home.
Beauty in my golden.
Beauty in the breeze.

Beauty day today!



"For I know the plans I have for you. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

Confessions of an Absent Minded Hair Twirler

It's something I've always done, twirled the ends of my hair -- sitting at a traffic light, watching TV, whenever. Now, I'm afraid to touch my hair for the knowing that at some point it's going to start falling out. Yeah, I know, it'll grow back. Thing is, the loss of hair marks one more part of my life over which I have no control. It's also the most visible sign that I'm going through chemo. What a bitch.

EVENING UPDATE (9:15 p.m. EDT): Yikes, what a moment of self pity (and vanity)! A lovely walk at the park with Sedona and some blueberries for dessert took me out of the doldrums. I mean, really, who can stay blue when they have a baby like this to love?!

Today's Wall Came Early

A shorter than expected work day for me. Spent a few hours at the office then had a personal appointment at 1:30. At 2:30, had an off-site meeting with a colleague and others about a variety of social media tools for JobsOhio. Around 3:15 I couldn't stop yawning, which brought me up short. Just yesterday someone at work was telling me how a person he knew going through chemo would fall asleep in meetings and start snoring. I, of course, was appalled at such a thought and laughed at the idea. Well, let me tell you, I was damn close!

So, that was my cue to call it a day. Got home and was sound asleep by 4:30.

My diet and palate have expanded beyond mashed potatoes and buttered noodles to include cottage cheese, thinly sliced rare roast beef, and bananas. But, not wanting to stray too far from favorites, I think tonight I will feast on Mrs. Ts Four Cheese Pierogies!

Mangia!

Some Fun Before None

I treated myself to a pre-chemo getaway May 9-12 and flew down to our Nation's Capitol. I never would have thought to do such a thing, given the amount of time I'll be missing work, but received lots of encouragement and took the plunge. A few folks thought I was crazy going alone, but I couldn't have picked a better or safer place -- endless things to see and gun-toting DC police officers or other law enforcement on nearly every corner. Walked my feet off and then some. My thanks to friend Michael Frey who picked me up at the airport and treated me to an evening at the theater. Got to see a modern adaptation of Taming of the Shrew at the famous Folger Theatre. Very cool venue, very good play.

I walked from one end of the National Mall to the other and lots in between. The east to west walk included a tour of the Capitol Bldg (thank you DR) and visiting the wonderful new Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial. I was fortunate last year to see the Lincoln and Jefferson memorials, as well as the The Wall, Korean Memorial, etc., so didn't make a repeat of those this spring.

Wed: Arrived at the Henley Park Hotel around 2 o'clock then visited two favorites: the National Portrait Gallery and Chinatown. Did some general walking to get oriented for the next two days.
Thu: Ford's Theatre (highly recommend), walked around National Archives (line too long to get in w/out appt.), Natural History Museum, Library of Congress (old and new), walked around the Capitol Bldg., toured Folger Theatre before going back that evening to attend the play. Back through the Natural History Museum for a little more touring.
Fri: White House walk around, Washington Monument (closed), WWII Memorial, MLK Jr. Memorial, walked along the Tidal Basin then up to the Smithsonian Castle, brief stop for lunch in the Smithsonian's American Indian Museum Cafe and to the Capitol Bldg for my tour. Absorbed the beauty and good earthy smells of the U.S. Botanic Garden, toured the National Museum of the American Indian (loved the "A Song for the Horse Nation" exhibit), cut through the Natural History Museum on the way back to the hotel (my favorite museum), stopped at Ping Pong Dim Sum for dinner then called it a day. Wow, were my dogs barking!
Sat: Walked to Starbucks for coffee and breakfast then grabbed a cab for Dulles.

And still, I didn't see everything I wanted to see: the Newseum, Arlington Cemetery, Washington National Cathedral, Mount Vernon, etc. Have decided it will be good symmetry to make a trip back to DC next May and wrap up the big tour!

Office Day

View of Statehouse from JobsOhio

Routine is a good thing. Came to work today, albeit a little later than normal. But, I'm feeling pretty good, especially after my lunch of Einstein's chicken noodle soup -- good stuff. Walked over to the Statehouse and sat on a bench in the shade, which made the whole experience that much better.

One of the possible side effects of the chemo drugs is heartburn and that treat reared its ugly little head early this morning around 2:45. Found that pounding a few Tums and eating some buttered noodles (nod to AD) did the trick.

LATE EDITION: (6:25 p.m.)  Lasted at the office today until 4:30. Felt pretty good the whole time, save experiencing some attention deficit then losing steam late in the afternoon. I am encouraging my colleagues to remind me of things they've asked me to do. I also need to let them know they'll probably have to repeat half of what they say to me! Lucky me, I work with a great team!:)

A Glorious Day

Many blessings to count this beautiful Sunday, including the sunshine and the sweet sound of the songbirds. I'm also thankful for waking up -- just waking up in general! -- but waking up and feeling good. I know there will be ups and downs, but no need to anticipate. I'm thankful, too, to all of you who are praying for me, sending positive thoughts my way, walking my Sedona, and awaiting to do whatever you can to help me. And, believe me, with 19 weeks of this to go, there's going to be plenty of time on that front!

A pretty redbird (that's what my grandmother called them).

It's all a bit overwhelming, however. It's not in my DNA to be the recipient of so much help as I view myself as the healthy, immortal one who helps others. Life's giving me a reality check and that's o.k. I have every intent of punching this reality check in the nose while letting it make me a stronger and hopefully more giving, intuitive person. 

Day After

Had a pretty good night's sleep. Went to bed with a headache and nausea then woke up free from both. Thankful for the advancements in anti-nausea medication. That said, it's definitely obvious there's poison in the body -- that things are working "agin" me and for me.

Made a visit at noon to the James for a shot of a drug that boosts my white blood cell count, which helps the immune system. They showed me how to administer the next three on my own so that I don't have to go back to the James -- that's a good thing.

I am eating small meals (got to have mashed potatoes for breakfast!) and drinking lots o' water. Off now to dreamland for a nap.






"My Lord will fully supply all you need, in accord with his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." Ph 4:19

And So It Ends, For Round 1

One down, 19 to go. Everything went well today. So smoothly, in fact, that I was out the door by 1 o'clock -- was there a total of four hours. Everyone at the Spielman Center was fabulous at making a crappy situation as good as possible. Afterward, Cindy and I had a nice lunch at Cap City then ran a couple of errands. Came home and took a good nap.

Check out what Aunt Cindy bought her golden niece. No, she's not a spoiled dog!

And So It Begins

11:05 a.m. and the infusion is underway. Cold! For this first visit the two drugs are being administered separately and will take a little longer than future visits. Here at the Stephanie Spielman Comprehensive Breast Center with my gal pal, Cindy. Great friend and sister. We have a corner room that looks toward downtown and over to OSU. Nice that it's a sunny day!

Not looking my best, but it''ll have to do!

Cindy and me.

2 Cor 5:7 "For we walk by faith, not by sight."

Everything in Moderation -- Hogwash!

An amazing thing happened on my way through the grocery store tonight. Stopped at Giant Eagle to pick up a Rx and paper towels. I left with a bag that somehow also included two boxes of Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls, two packages of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, two York Peppermint Patties, and a bag of potato chips.

Once home, I ate a big, green, leafy salad (courtesy of my sweet neighbor, Clark) and downed a glass of organic milk. What followed was a licentious dive into gluttony: one Reese's twin pack, one Peppermint Pattie, two handfuls of potato chips (balancing salty with the sweet) and three pairs of Swiss Cake rolls -- burp!

The excuse: tomorrow marks the first of my 20 chemo treatments.

The promise: restoration of moderation going forward.

Birth of a Breast-based Cogitating Blog

Conversation during tonight's dinner with two dear friends...
He: "So, are you going to journal about this?" 
Me: "Yes." 
He: "Have you thought about a blog and allowing others to read these journalings?" 
Me: "No" (inside my head: "HELL NO!!) 
Then a pause of incredulity as serious consideration is given to such a proposition ... 
Me: "Well, maybe." 

Thus, over a plate of chicken breasts,
was born Bosomundheit.