A Verse to Live by

"No trial has come to you but what is human. God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength;
but with the trial he will also
provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it."
1 Cor 10:13

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Park it, Please

Other than feeling like I'd been kicked in the ribs, back, and legs, I felt o.k. today. :) It's going to be a challenge, I know, to get through to August 24 (my last chemo), but knowing I'm so close makes it easier to bear. I think the prayers I need most are that the veins in my left hand hold out -- it'll be a real bummer if those puppies aren't receptive to the catheter twice more.

On a more pleasant note, the lovely drive home from work nixed vague thoughts of flaking out on the couch this evening. Instead, Dona and I took a ride to the park and enjoyed a leisurely stroll. We've both missed our walk routine, so this was just what the doctor (and veterinarian) ordered!
Sedona's always curious about what
might be going on inside church!
She's watching the kids jump off the
diving board at the pool. I think she
wouldn't mind doing the same:)

Pics o' the Day


Monday, July 30, 2012

Getting from There to Here

Got home from work today and literally collapsed into bed – my body ached and I was beat. An hour or so later, having found neither relief nor sleep, I resolved to continue lying there and throwing myself a pity party. The world’s smallest violin was about to cue up when 1) Sedona sat up and stared down at me with an unsympathetic what’s-wrong-with-you look in her eyes, and 2) I glanced over at my dresser and saw a little silver acorn given to me this weekend by a friend, reminding me that from little acorns grow mighty oaks. Translation, at least for this instance, get up and get moving 'cause inertia ain't working! Well, the Xterra needed refueling, so ...

On my way back to the house, the windows rolled down and Sedona happily letting her gums flap in the wind, I received God's grace. Instead of a symphony of one teeny, tiny violin performing at my pity party, I was accompanied by a cacophony of singing insects, cool night-scented breezes, and a beautiful moon for rejoicing in the tapestry of life.

My body still aches and I’m still tired, but my soul is refreshed.

Pic o' the Day: One of my favorite photos from the trip I took to the Sierra region of Ecuador in 2010. Guess you could say the mountain captured my heart ...

Sunday, July 29, 2012

A Note before Good Night

Quite happy to report no "hot hands" this weekend following Friday's round of reduced Taxol Treat. I'm experiencing some swelling and tingling in those extremities, but no flaming fire like the first time. Thank goodness! Fatigue and general achiness have plagued me today, along with a so-so appetite. As a result, for most of the afternoon I've looked forward to this moment of heading off to sleep. Hoping for a good nights rest so I can have a productive day at work.

Me with Custer, a Chesapeake Bay retriever
John & Grizzly Bear, Jay's dog.
Pics o' the Day: John and I had our photos snapped with a couple of the celebrities from yesterday's show at the Natural Resources Park!



Feeling "Fair"ly Good!

Note: This was written Saturday evening, but I forgot to hit the publish button until after midnight ...

Was a little tentative about how I might feel this morning, given the reactions I had to the first Taxol Treat. The morning progressed and things seemed o.k., so headed down to the Ohio State Fair, or more correctly, the Natural Resources Park at the state fair. 

I went today with a singular purpose: to join in paying tribute to a friend I loved, Jay Reda, who was stolen away by the Cancer Bitch. I also went out of love for another friend, Michelle, Jay’s wife, who kicked the Bitch. The tribute took place just before the retriever dog show that Jay started at the park eight years ago. And, appropriately, the tribute continued as the team went on to entertain park visitors with the working dog skills of their Golden, Labrador, and Chesapeake Bay retrievers.
Div. of Wildlife Chief, Scott Zody,
presenting Michelle with a
Wildlife Conservation Award in
honor of Jay.
Michelle with the boys,
Griz & Bruin


It was a great show, but we sure missed you, big guy.

Pics o' the Day


Friday, July 27, 2012

Eight Down, Two to Go!!

Taxol Treat number two is underway. Moderately loopy from the Benadryl infusion. Dr. Lustberg reduced the Taxol dosage to help with my hands-of-fire side effect -- I'm all for that!! Also pleased I got the corner office again today! :)

Andrea, the Komen walking Machine!
Other high notes, my friend Mary Beth provided transport this morning and is with me now. Yes, MB from the marathon brunch in June. And, my gal pal Cindy B. came in for a visit! Another sister friend, Andrea S., will be by later with lunch and a ride home. I love the Stefanie Spielman Center, but home is better!

Hhmm, at a point where typing is becoming a challenge to the brain. Will catch up later!

Girlfriends rock!

Pics o' the Day
MB & me!



Thursday, July 26, 2012

Twas the Night Before Chemo and ...

... I'm at my kitchen table, working to get some things done before being sent off into La-La land tomorrow with Taxol Treat number two. Wow, hard to believe I'll have had six total chemo treatments after Friday. Actually, it's still kind of hard to believe I'm even having to go through this malarkey. And, not only me going through it, but the crap it's put my family and friends through is just lousy. Cancer (any medical affliction) truly impacts more than the patient -- its powerful vortex sucks in anyone who cares for that individual. Puts a pain in my heart.

I'm glancing over at Sedona right now who is staring out the sliding glass door. She wants to go outside and it's just after 11 p.m. -- the witching hour for skunks, I've come to believe. Hate to deny her a yard pass, but thinking she's gonna have to hold it until the morning. Either that or I've got to put her on the leash and walk her around; maybe that's a kinder resolution!

Pics o' the Day were taken just as today's late afternoon storm drew its shutter over downtown. The photo really didn't capture the dramatic darkness that folded over us. No blue sky anywhere, it was like night descending.





Also, the Komen 3-Day Walk in Cleveland is almost upon us. If you've been thinking about supporting my friend Andrea, and ultimately me, in this walk then time is a wastin'. Click Here to Help Us Kick the Bitch, and thanks to all who've already committed to making this a win for so many!

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Lost and Waiting on the Found


I've lost my creative mojo. No more clever turns of phrase. No thinking outside the box. No ..., well, hell, I can't even creatively come up with another way in which I apply my creativity -- pathetic! The floodgates have closed. The taps turned off. Lost is my trademark in business (and leisure). Damn, sure hope this is temporary or you'll find me working as a Walmart greeter!

This one with my friend TC is
not amusing, just sweet
This one with my friend Chris,
on the other hand, is very amusing!
And sweet in its own way:)
On the other hand, I can still offer up amusing pix. Just check out these Pics o' the Day for confirmation!


Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Signs of Life


Yes, I am here and doing fine. I can't believe I haven't posted for almost two days -- what a slacker! Work's been busy, which is good, and I've felt much better overall, allowing me to be more like myself at the office this week, which is great! With that, however, I've neglected my blog and dear blog readers. All work and no time for reflection makes for some dull posting material, I'm afraid.

Because it is now late, I'm making this a brief post with the promise of something scintillating to say -- or at the very least, something a little more entertaining than this missive.

Until tomorrow, my friends.

Pic o' the Night
Sedona patrolling the perimeter!



Sunday, July 22, 2012

It's All Relative


I bought a bill of goods about Phase II chemo and have no one to blame but me. This revelation presented itself while trying to reconcile how crummy I felt all last week (and even some yesterday) with the oft repeated promise of how Taxol would be much easier on me. I've decided it's just something the docs and nurses peddle to help keep chemo patients going mentally. It worked until my brain cleared enough for a closer examination of the b.s. statement. Sucks. Ah, well, it is what it is. I just have to put my head down and power through. Only three more treatments, only three more treatments, only three more treatments ...

Slept in today, took the morning slowly, read the newspaper, and did a little office work. I also made a small batch of marinara sauce from tomatoes out of my sweet neighbor Clark's garden. The sauce smelled outstanding, but into the freezer it went for a day down the road when my taste buds and tummy will truly appreciate what they're being fed!

Pics o' the Day are of female and male gold finches taken this morning as they feasted on wildflower seeds in my garden (don't know the kind of flower). 



Saturday, July 21, 2012

No Title, No Pic o' the Day

I read a story in the Dispatch today that literally brought me to tears. No, it wasn't from any of the coverage about the shootings in Aurora -- that tragedy is worth more tears than our country can possibly shed. It was another front page story, this one below the fold, and it was about the power of forgiveness. The tears that streamed down my face as I read the article were out of profound wonder and humbleness of God's grace.

Perhaps, in a way, the tears were about Aurora and Columbine and Oklahoma City and Virginia Tech and Fort Hood and all other horrific, senseless, human-instigated tragedies of this world.

Forgiveness doesn't excuse, but it does have the power to change lives.




Friday, July 20, 2012

Happy Friday

Woke up this July 20 feeling pretty good. And, yes, I intentionally did not post yesterday. Well, kind of intentionally. Took a nap after work then got up and ran some errands. Once home, I started to do some writing for work. So, I sacrificed writing in my blog for the job, which really is a good thing given how much flexibility I'm being given on the work front.

It's glorious to see the rain these last two days. Not sure how wide spread it is in central Ohio, but my little garden is already showing signs of appreciation. I stood outside briefly this morning and let the rain gently fall on me -- a weird (though not unpleasant) sensation on the bald head!

"I rejoice heartily in the Lord, in my God is the joy of my soul ..." Isaiah 61:10

Pic o' the Morning!
Some pretty native perennials dancing in my garden!

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

A Better Day

Not at 100 percent (or even 85%), but definitely better than yesterday. Was happy to put in a full day at the office. Tired, though, and having a difficult time finding something appealing to eat. Thus far not even HoHos hold much allure. Think I'll just go for some cottage cheese and an Ensure for now. I did have a good breakfast and lunch: oatmeal, hot tea, and Ensure this morning then a nice big slice of cheesy lasagna this afternoon.

I miss my Jonesy.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Posting to Post

Well, I'll be honest and say that this was not one of my best days. Felt like total dookie. Don't really feel like posting, but I am because that's what a blog is about.

On the checklist of Taxol side effects, I've definitely experienced the following:
- pain in the joints and muscles
- fluid retention
- facial flushing, chills

Ironically, nowhere in medical literature do I find mentioned as a side effect the "burning hands and feet." Women who've received Taxol report this sensation, but not the medical world. Doesn't matter, I experienced it and no one can tell me it wasn't related to my Taxol Treat.

Pics o' the Day
Audrey
Raegan
Here are two reasons to smile even while feeling like dookie: my two great nieces.






Monday, July 16, 2012

Hot Hands & a Forgetful Golden Retriever

I neglected to post on Sunday because my hands encountered some Taxol side effects. The right hand, starting with the index finger, began feeling swollen then hot, as if there was an infection going on. The heat spread to the crook between the index finger and thumb before "engulfing" the rest of the digits and palm. It was as if I'd grabbed a really hot object and scalded my palm and fingers - it was to the point I couldn't close my hand to make a fist. Eventually, the same condition appeared in the left hand and bottoms of my feet, though not as acutely. Not pleasant, I will say. My brother John suggested using cold packs and after a few hours of application - coupled with some Ibuprofen - the symptoms abated yet did not fully disappear.

That, of course does not explain why I am posting at this early hour. Well, I was all tucked in bed, snoozing away, when John woke me up. He said "Sedona wanted outside one more time and ...," That's all I needed to hear 'cause I could smell "the rest of the story." My brilliant golden retriever forgot a lesson she'd been taught last July: stay away from little black and white mammals, they are not our friends. Yes, folks, she got skunked, again. John hustled up to Giant Eagle for three large bottles of hydrogen peroxide and a couple boxes of baking soda so that I could make up the magical de-stink potion a good friend gave to me last year (Thanks, Matt!).

The only saving grace this time is that Sedona did not get as close to Pepe le Pew, which meant the target area was not as saturated. As of right now, my in-the-dog-house pup has been put through the de-stink cycle three times, rinsed in the shower, and dried. As for me, I'm going to bed.

Geez.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Gifts 'n Such

Andrea, a woman of action!
As you all are aware, my dear friend Andrea Strle is participating in the Komen 3-Day, 60-mile Walk in Cleveland, August 3-5 in my honor. We originally thought I would walk as well, but the reality right now is me walking 20 miles a day is not in the cards (though I do plan on being up there to cheer on Andrea!).

Help Us Kick the Bitch, Donate NOW!
Why this explanation? It's because we had two separate donation accounts, each of us trying to reach a goal of $2,300 -- a requirement of all particpants. Since I'm not walking (not a participant), well, that didn't make much sense. What did make sense to us was combining what I had raised with Andrea's. Upon investigation of the rules, however, it became clear that Komen did not permit such transfers. We nonetheless made an  appeal, explaining the situation, and our team leaders have agreed to make an exception. YAHOO! It is such amazingly great news that I had to share it with all of you, especially those who already have contributed directly on my behalf. Of course the funds still go to the very same worthy cause I promoted through Help Me Kick the Bitch, and that's what's important.

With all of that achieved, I want to remind everyone that there's still time to support Andrea and me in this walk. We are just shy of reaching the required $2,300; Andrea had set her own personal goal at $3,000.

Again, my most sincere thanks to everyone who already has generously donated to Laura's Moxie Crew. For those who want to support the walk, please follow this new link: Help Us Kick the Bitch!

I love you all.
LJ

Friday, July 13, 2012

#5!

It's 1:35 p.m. and #5 chemo treatment is underway with no negative reactions!
All is good.
Will write more later.
Headed off to la-la land to catch some zzzzzzzzzzzs

3:53 p.m.
First, my thanks to Cindy for being my stenographer for that first post. I didn't have available hands to write a message, so she took dictation on my behalf. Love ya, girl!

I have the corner office this time, as I did on my first visit, which gives me views of Olentangy River Road (looking north toward Third and Fifth avenues) as well as of Downtown, which never gets old.

The new infusion continues to be no problem, praise God. Ninety percent of women have no trouble with this dose dense infusion of plant-based Taxol and its solvent -- however there is that 10 percent chance ... I am blessed, again, to have no reaction. I did get a little dozy in the beginning because they shot a high dose of Benadryl into my system. Closed my eyes for about 20 minutes then felt those effects wearing off -- now awake and able to write and do some office work.

Cindy had a retreat to attend and left at 1:45, so my brother John is picking me up today. I think with this longer infusion time (3 hours plus all the gettin' ready stuff) that it makes good sense to have my "taker" and "picker-upper" be two different shuttle services. :)

Feeling really positive now that I am almost through this first infusion of Taxol. And, just think, only three more after today!
  • 10:08 p.m.: Left the Spielman Center w/ John at 4:30. 
  • 1:10 a.m.: The aftermath of this 5th treatment continues to be uneventful. I am, however, finding sleep to be elusive!

Pics o' the day
Celebrating #5 chemo and the First Taxol Treat!











Thursday, July 12, 2012

Thought(less)

I'm sitting here trying to decide if my lack of trepidation toward tomorrow - the start of Phase II's "Taxol Treat" - is a sign of me sticking my head in the sand or having given up that worry to God. If I'm doing things right then it's the latter. Therefore, on to other thoughts(full).

I was on the phone tonight with my sister discussing the 2013 Buckeye Cruise for Cancer trip, which we'll be taking with our mom in February. Mary Ann and I both need passports; her first ever and mine renewed. The process for me is relatively simple: fill out a form and mail it to Uncle Sam with my expiring passport and appropriate payment. Oh, yes, and a recent color photo ... which, dear readers, is my quandary.

The blonde wig has received positive reviews and for the time I "need" it that's fine. However, I don't want my passport photo to feature me as a blonde for the next 10 years -- it just feels traitorous, so here's my genius idea: go to a nearby wig shop and ask to rent a wig long enough to go get a headshot at Wally World. Seems logical and fair to me!
KBS outside his shop
in Huntington, WV.

Pics o' the Day: My grandaddy, Keeley B. Sprouse, proud co-owner of a Harley-Davidson shop, Huntington, WV. The business was lost during the Great Depression.

Grandaddy's "Huntington Gang."



Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Too Pooped to Post (much)

Marathon day/evening at the office. Big project. Got home at 9:30 after picking up Subway for dinner. Did catch the end of a beautiful sunset, so will leave you all with that as your ...

... Pic o' the Day
This evening's photo is looking toward my location from last night

Monday, July 9, 2012

Short & Sweet

What a bummer. I wrote a post then somehow deleted it. So this is going to be really short and sweet.
Ended a good day at the office with a most excellent evening with some of my chums from DNR. Check out the photos below. Can you believe we were the only ones enjoying this view of the downtown skyline?! We were sitting on the patio of the former Confluence Restaurant (nka The Boat House at Confluence Park). Support our near-downtown establishments! The Boat House offers: easy access (just off Rt. 33/Riverside Drive & Souder Ave.), a new menu, outstanding views, and some excellent evening songbird serenades!

Pics o' the Day
L-R: Bill, Susan, & Ben
Meet the RR Committee



Sunday, July 8, 2012

Breathing Lessons

I have trouble remembering to breathe these days. Not in the sense of failure to inhale and exhale, but how to breathe properly -- and I think I know why. A good friend of mine, who also has been through the CBitch battle, told me that during treatment all her stress went to her jaw, causing it to ache. With that in mind, I believe my stress is targeting the tummy, which feels like it's always tensed (perhaps another reason for the constant indigestion?). A tensed tummy means I'm taking shallow breaths and that's not good. So, now I'm thinking I should get into some sort of yoga or fitness class. Maybe I'll see what the YWCA downtown has to offer ...

As for today, well, I felt o.k., although I have had better days. The two most constructive things I did was paint new numbers on my mail post and walk the dog. A big work week ahead at the office and, of course, the start of Phase II chemo: the Taxol Treat. I have some anxiety on that front, but will be working through that as I get closer to Friday.

I leave you with two Pics o' the Day, circa 1963/64 when the Statehouse underground parking garage was under construction. My dad snapped these photos while working on the rooftop of what I think is now the Key Bank building at Broad and Third streets.
Looking west with the Statehouse in
bottom left corner.
Looking south/southwest at the Statehouse


Saturday, July 7, 2012

Sweet Saturday

How I sleep and eat are yardsticks for my physical well being. They are important. What is more important is the spiritual barometer, which after tonight is doing quite well, thank you. Had a great evening with my compadres, Joe and Cindy. We noshed on fruit and cheese then nourished our souls with some powerful prayer. Truly, the weight of the world can be resting on one's shoulders, but when fellowship and prayer are brought into the picture, well, it's simply amazing how light the heart can be made to feel. Unburdening, giving over, embracing unconditional love.
"I keep the Lord always before me; with the Lord at my right, I shall never be shaken." Psalm 16:8

Speaking of fellowship in a similar and different way, I spent a little time at the grocery with another friend earlier today. Larry has worked special duty at a local grocery for many years. The friendship was first forged between Ron and Larry and their mutual love of the Cleveland Indians. After Ron died, Larry became one of those people I knew would be there for me, even though we only saw each other on grocery Saturdays. Anyway, suffice to say, Larry is quality people. Today, I asked him to take a turn before the iPhone cheesy cam. Thanks, Larry, for being a good sport and for all your support!

Pics o' the Day


Friday, July 6, 2012

TGIF


Had a brief flirt with no power again. Thursday evening's storm knocked power out until 6:30 the next morning. I, of course, had put away all the flashlights and candles from the previous outage! :)

Definitely happy that today was Friday. Even with Wednesday to recoup, I was really tired at the end of yesterday and again today. Part of my fatigue, I think, is because I'm not out walking and exercising. Just can't handle walking in this heat. Speaking of heat, I've discovered that when the burn of indigestion hits the stomach that Tums and a watermelon chaser are a pretty good combo.

Final thoughts for the day and week:
  • I have a home and roof over my head and that's blessing even when the power is out.
  • My brother John came over on Tuesday to get my AC running and has been staying with me the last few nights. Got me energized to cook a couple of meals and eat some of what I cooked!
  • I'm really fortunate to have wonderful siblings -- we love each other, get along well, and enjoy each other's company.

I'm tired. Goodnight.
Pic o' the Day
Fetch, fulfilling her daily obligation!

Thursday, July 5, 2012

today, Today, TODAY!

I feel like a million bucks today! Not run-a-marathon million bucks, but the kind of million bucks that (drum roll please) 6.5 hours of uninterrupted sleep gets ya -- TAH DAH! I feel this morning as if all the neurotransmitters -- my spark plugs -- are hitting in proper sequence in my brain and body. Good thing, too, as I have a big day ahead of me at the office.

Praise and gratitude to God for this gift and all the blessings in my life -- the big, little, in between, obvious, and not so obvious ones. No blessing is insignificant as each is part and parcel of receiving the promise of living a love and peace-filled life in Christ.

Let me hear an AMEN!

Pic o' the Day was lifted from a friend's Facebook posting. It more than adequately expresses the feelings in my heart both for the joy of living and patriotism!
Red, White & Boom from the helipad on top of OSU East Hospital. (JamesDeCamp.com)

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Sleep is Underrated!

So the statement goes on a nightshirt given to me by my cousins! Had relatively good sleep last night, but given the lack of it the night before my body had little choice. Turned out the lights at 9:30 and slept in increments of three hours -- finally pushed myself out of bed at 8:30. I'll take it!

My Kenneth's stylist & pal, Jasmine.
Went to see my stylist again yesterday and had her shave the rest of the shag off the dome. Wasn't that big of a leap for me; I'm good with it -- was gonna happen anyway during Phase II. You can call me "Mrs. Clean!"

Happy Fourth, everyone.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Steroids: Blessing and a Curse

One of the great advances in helping chemotherapy patients deal with the nausea is the use of steroids. For many of us, these multi-purpose drugs help keep the stomach from rebelling and allow, to some extent, the ability to eat. They have indeed helped me as I haven't gotten sick once from the chemo (as in no homage to the porcelain throne).

However, the side effects of steroids are not to be dismissed. Sleep is not always so easy to come by, at least not in long increments. There are, of course, pills for that, too, which I try not to take advantage of unless totally running on empty. This post is the result of going to bed at 10 and waking up at 3 a.m. Finally, unable to fall back asleep I woke the Mac and began writing.

Which is an opportunity to let you know that I've finally added a second installment to my Serial that I started back in late May. You can check it by clicking here, or from the link on the top right side of the blog under Pages called: How It All Began.

William Allen
Pic o' the Day comes to you from the U.S. Capitol's Statuary Hall. Every state is allowed two statues in the hall. Ohio has one of James A. Garfield and one of William Allen, a 19th Century congressman and governor. This pic is of Allen's statue, which is to be replaced, hopefully soon, with one of Thomas Alva Edison. Allen was no fan of Lincoln's and was pro-slavery -- good reason to get him ousted from the hall! Check out my May 22 post for more about my D.C. trip.




Monday, July 2, 2012

Got Power! Now No Energy :(


Put in about seven hours at the office today before beginning to fade. Got home and was bummed that the power was still out. Laid down for a nap and five minutes later heard the beautiful hum of my ceiling fan as it began to turn. Alleluia! Waiting, however, until the sun goes down to turn on the AC. Wanted to give everything else in the house time to get back online and, amazingly, it still is relatively comfortable inside.

All that aside, I'm a bit tired and fuzzy minded, so this entry, like the previous two, will remain brief.

Feeling sentimental, so today's Pic o' the Day comes from the Schneider archives -- apologies to my sister that she was cut off "mid-face," but then I wasn't the one behind the camera!
From LtoR: Me, Andy, John, & Mary Ann in the background

Sunday, July 1, 2012

As long as I have the iPhone ...

... I can stay connected to all of you! Of course by making that statement you realize I continue to be without electricity. Still, not as big of a deal since I can cook and get hot water.

This outage fiasco, however, threw a wrench in my plans to take the hair all the way down. Power was out at my salon on Saturday - ah, well, I can wait until Tuesday!

Here's your Pic o' the Day. Never a bad one when it features"her goldeness!"