Looking Ahead

I spent the second half of yesterday (Tuesday) in Cleveland. Traveled to that north coast city with my boss to meet with regional economic development leaders and assorted business folks. On the drive back, somewhere between Ashland and Belleville, a long overdue shift occurred in my confidence level as a communications director for economic development.

January 3 marked my first day of this once new job adventure. I never dreamed then that it would take me this long to find my economic development sea legs. Of course, I never dreamed then that I'd be diagnosed 51 days later with breast cancer. For nine months, I was totally consumed with beating back the CBitch. That focused battle impeded my ability to get ahead of the learning curve. But, here I am one month out from my last radiation and while plenty of work remains to get me up to speed, the shift has occurred and I'm starting to hum along this new communications highway!

I give it all up to God.

Pic o' the Day

Speaking of highways (and looking ahead), shot this photo on the way up to Cleveland. Not sure, but maybe that's a turbine blade?

#@!!% Seriously?!

While I was in Florida I got a call from one of the clinical trial coordinators at OSU. She was following up on some details about a clinical trial in which I agreed to participate -- the taking of a drug called Metformin on a daily basis for five years. The conversation was going just fine until she said uttered the impossible "... and you'll have to schedule a bilateral mammogram in the next couple of weeks." It took my brain a minute to compute what she was saying. My audible response when the thought registered? "Oh, hell, there's no way I'm doing that!" Having my surgically sensitive and recently radiated breast pancaked in a mammogram machine is what's called a deal breaker.

I really want to pay-it-forward, to do something that advances cancer research and ultimately helps other women battling the CBitch. Lucky for me, I can start the clinical trial as late as mid February, which means the mammogram would get pushed to early February.

Hhmm, time will tell!

Collage o' the Day

The view from 30,000 or so feet.
It was so awesome to see the
Appalachian Mountains from this distance.

Home is More than a Word

Staying with my parents is like being at home.

                       Sitting on the couch with Sedona is being home.

My heart is with both.

Mi Padre

Spending the afternoon with my dad while my mom is out golfing.
I sure love him.

Simply Thankful

Two of my greatest blessings! With my mom
and dad at Nemo's on Fort Myers Beach

I don't know where to begin with all the things that have me thankful this holiday. Obviously, coming through the treatment relatively unscathed is right up there. But it's more than that. It's being thankful for all the people who have given me a diversity of support throughout my life. It's also being thankful for having a God who gently humbles me every day through the beauty of his creation.

I am blessed for all that I've received.
I am blessed for being able to give.
I am blessed.

"Simple Gifts" 

'Tis the gift to be simple, 'tis the gift to be free

'Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,

And when we find ourselves in the place just right,

'Twill be in the valley of love and delight.

When true simplicity is gain'd,

To bow and to bend we shan't be asham'd,

To turn, turn will be our delight,

Till by turning, turning we come 'round right.

Typical FMB Morning

Dad having his breakfast spaghetti
and working the crossword!

 Slow start to the morning, which is what being at my mom and dad's is all about. The breakfast hour approaching brunch and no particular plan except maybe going to see the sand sculpture competition. Love it!

Have already had a bad and good report on Sedona. She was bad yesterday having destroyed a box of tissues before John and DiAnna got to the house. She was good this morning, patiently posing for DiAnna's camera. I think Dona's going to have a nice Thanksgiving!

Dona, pretending to be a well-behaved
golden retriever. 

Sign of Life

I know it's been quiet on bosomhundheit the last couple of days. - Was totally focused on work and getting ready for vaca. Arrived in Fort Myers Beach this morning. Looking forward to turning off the work cell (at least intermittently) and totally shutting down. Mmhhh, can't wait to sleep in!!

Mrs Fix It? I'm Tryin'!

Getting in there in the hair department!

On my dry erase board in the kitchen is a list of things that need to be fixed or replaced around the house. The list is for my brother, John, who's going to stay at the house next week with Sedona while I'm in Florida. That list has been up there for two weeks -- and it took me that long to realize I am capable of doing at least a few of those repairs. So, this morning, I removed the broken door handle from my storm door and took down the broken horizontal blinds in the kitchen and went to the hardware store. Tonight, I sit here feeing pretty happy with myself. Small triumphs.

I was reading my devotional today and one of the suggested scriptures was the 23rd Psalm. I know it's a psalm associated with funerals but for me it's for every day, for reassuring my anxious heart, and bringing me peace because it tells me that the Lord takes care of me -- takes care of all of us.

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures;

he leads me beside still waters; he restores my soul.

He leads me in right paths for his names sake.

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I fear no evil;

for you are with me; your rod and your staff – they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;

you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me

all the days of my life;

and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord my whole life long.“

Cleanliness is Next to Godliness?

If that's the case then Sedona's recent behavior is bringing me closer to God!

My golden girl continues to act out by shredding book covers, magazines, notes, and even photos that my good neighbor Clark was sharing with me -- Argh!

So, I'm taking this as Sedona's way of telling me it's time to get closer to God and de-clutter, again!

Uncle Kirk recorded this latest naughty-dog episode.

OMG and Who Needs a Gym?

OMG because it's been since Sunday that I've posted. I'll blame it on work, which isn't a negative, just a fact. Good things going on at the office as we get ready to launch a major campaign called ThriveInOhio -- check back soon for a sneak peek at the commercial.

And, as far as a gym goes, I just finished a 15 minute aerobic work out that was heavy on the grade school calisthenics I learned when we were made to exercise to the song "Go You Chicken Fat, Go!" sung by actor Robert Preston. Got the heart going and blood circulating. Bet if teachers tried to make kids do that today there would be a lawsuit!

Had dinner this evening with my friends, Tina and John. I'm really proud of Tina. She is fighting the CBitch and on the cusp of her last A/C infusion, the chemo drugs that deliver the biggest punch to the body. She's anxious about the end of Phase 1, but facing it like a warrior. Keep her in your prayers as she navigates this wicked though "overcomeable" road.

I'm probably going to botch what I'm about to write next, but here goes: While in the treatment it felt as if there was this sort of bubble surrounding me. Everything, every minute of my life was about what was being done to my body and how to mitigate the side effects. I was solely focused on getting through one infusion at a time because it was too overwhelming to consider the next. There was no room even to wish for the treatments to be over; it wasn't worth expending the energy. And, while I went to work, just how effective I was I can't say. Then one day, treatment was over: no more chemo and no more radiation. The bubble popped and "BAM," I was dropped back on the treadmill of life. I'm struggling a bit with readjusting to "normal" life and ensuring that I don't jump back in so deep I forget my body is still healing. Looking forward to the therapeutic time I'll have visiting with my parents in Fort Myers Beach over the Thanksgiving holiday. :)

Pics o' the Day

I love crossing the river every morning on my way into work 

Baby girl got a gift from
her pal, Hank, whose humans
are Tina and John

Meet Hank!

Going on the Pill

I filled my prescription for Tamoxifen last Wednesday and, for no good reason, I've procrastinated starting the script. A control thing, maybe. A desire to not put another chemical in my system, perhaps. Could be a Freudian thing and I'm intentionally forgetting to take the damn pill each morning. Sigh. Well, to quote Miss Scarlett: "After all, tomorrow is another day!"

Earlier this evening I shared my musing on this topic with Sedona. She gave me a few sympathetic looks before the paw was extended, begging me, I'm sure, to stop and do something useful such as massage her paw!

Pic o' the Day

This sweet baby is lying next to me now, peacefully
sleeping and gently snoring!

Just Who is Being Served?

A night of love, grace, and fellowship. A night with friends -- old and new -- serving at Jericho's Light Club, a soup kitchen of sorts in Franklinton aka "the Bottoms." 

I usually keep myself behind the counter on these service nights, preferring the comfort zone the wood and linoleum structure creates for me. From there, I can be chatty and smile while dishing up a plate of nourishing food or pouring a hot cup of coffee for the impoverished, mentally ill, drug or alcohol addicted.

Tonight, I stepped out from behind that counter -- both literally and figuratively. I took my own plate of food over to a table and invited myself to sit down and eat a meal with a man and woman who'd just gone through the line. It was uncomfortable, I felt stupid, I didn't know what to say. Then I just quite thinking about me and let it roll.

She (Brenda) suffers from MS, has had cataract surgery on both eyes, and is borderline diabetic. He (Melvin) is diabetic and has cataracts in both eyes. She must be about my age; he might be around 55.

We talked about stuff. We sat together in comfortable silence. Christ brought us together through love. I received grace. We shared fellowship. 

Collage o' the night

We served, we sang, we laughed, we prayed.

A Sweet Night with My Faith Sisters!

Enjoying a night out with the ladies of Sycamore Hills home church. They gathered to celebrate my end of treatment, my surviving of the CBitch. Love them all!

Something Else to Add to the List

For the last two weeks I've been waking up in the morning with numbness in the little and ring fingers on my right hand. I thought maybe I was just sleeping wrong on my arm, but yesterday Doc Lustberg said "no, sounds like early symptoms of lymphedema." She quickly added  the symptoms didn't mean what I was experiencing would culminate in lymphedema. To avoid that from occurring she recommended physical therapy. So, that's what I did today. Therapist gave me exercises to do that will improve the flow of lymphathic fluid, help repair some soft tissue damage in my right shoulder, and strengthen upper back muscles.

I hate exercise, but this is more like medical prescription, right? Guess I'll take my medicine.

Pic o' the Day: A dimensional look at the landscape I pass on my way to the Spielman Center

Proves A Point?

In the waiting room at the Spielman Ctr for my appt with Doc Lustberg. It's jam packed today - women of all ages, backgrounds, and cultures ...

Sharing a couple of pix from the waiting room - a vantage point I've not photographed from during previous visits. The first pic is of construction on Third Ave near Olentangy. The second of the Cols Police sub station at Gowdy Field.

Timing

This is a totally untallied observation, but it seems as if once a week someone in my sphere of friends and acquaintances is sharing with me how someone they know has just been diagnosed with breast cancer.

What's up with that? Is it that more women are being diagnosed with breast cancer because there is more of it? Is it that early detection has become so much better? Or is that I'm entering a season of life where instances of breast cancer simply become more common among women "my age?" Whatever the reason, the numbers are mind boggling.

All that has a dark cloud hanging over my head. Blah.

But wait, what's next to me on the couch? Ah, one of God's many gifts: my faithful and loving golden girl. Don't know what I'd do without her little spirit-lifting face. Happiness now.

“We treat our dogs as if they were 'almost human': that is why they really become 'almost human' in the end.” -- C.S. Lewis

Collage o' the Day: Did I mention I had my trees trimmed last week? The guy in the bottom right photo is in the silver maple and the other guy is in the honey locust. These pics don't adequately capture just how high up they were in those trees ...

Observations from My Two Worlds

As I began thinking about the weekend, I found it difficult to stop the spinning wheel in my head. When it did eventually slow, an image popped into my mind: that of cell division. Yeah, weird, huh?! The armchair psychologist in me thinks that image surfaced because for so many months all my thoughts and energies were on the CBitch. Now, with soon-to-be quarterly check ups the norm and not much day-to-day CBitch activity to report, my little bubble of a world is growing larger and splitting into two parts, each carrying a little DNA from the other. Thus, my daily observations come from both spheres of my life. Make sense? :)

Observations from sphere ...
#1: Evidence of radiation continues to show itself on my skin. While the sensitivity has not ratcheted up, the discoloration continues to deepen. But, hey, since it's not bikini season, why fuss! I have an appointment with my onocologist, Dr. Lustberg, on Tuesday to discuss treatment going forward, this includes (I think) starting me on daily Tamoxifen, which I'll take for five years. They also want to talk to me about being part of a clinical trial. If I recall correctly, it's pretty minimal as far as my obligation -- will wait to hear more on Tuesday.

#2: My pit bull-owning neighbors have made the decision that they, and I quote, "... do not feel comfortable continuing to pay for something that we're not entirely sure whose dog initiated the situation." That is a bummer. I've written them a letter urging them to reconsider so that this can be handled in a neighborly and amicable fashion. I was going to ask this of them in person, but after some thought and sage advice, decided the written word would be a better choice. Keep your fingers crossed and say a prayer that they rethink their position.

Like the salt-and-pepper wisps reappearing across my head, some golden coverage is beginning to sprout on Sedona's neck and back. She continues to be a good girl about not scratching at her staples or her stitched-up ear. She really is a brilliant dog, my Sedona!

Pic o' the Day

I maintain she is brilliant:
Having shredded my writing tablet Friday night in frustration at my absence,
she had the presence of mind to hold her stuffed bear for the "ah" affect
while mustering a look of chagrin ...

Routine

I am nine days out from my last radiation and it still seems a bit unreal. One of the mornings last week I started to panic because it was 8:20 and I hadn't yet left for treatment. And at least twice I automatically began to drive my well-worn route to the Spielman Center. During treatment there was a woman along that route that I drove by nearly every morning. She would be walking her dog and talking away on her cell, but she always looked up and stared at me as I drove up her street. I wonder if she's noticed my absence. I wonder if she wonders why.

Had dinner out this evening with my brother, John, and his kids. It was a send-off for my niece DiAnna's boyfriend (Tyler), who leaves, I believe, on Monday for Fort Benning. My nephews, James and Andrew, were also there, making it a really, really nice evening.

My collage Pic o' the Day, is for my new grand-niece: Ellie Sophia, who was born on November 1. She's a beautiful little thing, just like Audrey, her big sister, and their mom, my niece Amy.

Tired Elated Tired

Jammin' the last few days in prep for today's 3rd quarter board meeting and report down in Rio Grande, OH. The board meeting went very well and the report was well received. Late nights, early mornings, but what a great feeling to know our team accomplished so much! :)

On top of that, it turned out to be a beautiful day, especially in that southern portion of the state.

Baby girl Sedona is doing well. She continues to leave alone the staples across her neck.

As the report says, lots of good things going on,
but still much to do getting Ohioans back to work.

Eyes are closing. My typing is faltering. Going to sleep.


Pic o' the Day

On the road again, in many ways!